A bit of an explanation here: At Wellspring of 1998, our esteemed Archdruid announced that ADF had finally surpassed the 500-member mark. He then went on to boast that by Wellspring of 1999, ADF would have 1000 members. Which led me to write this song. Fox and I sang this just before the Fools' Competition of the SLG 1998 Lughnasadh Festival. The lyrics in plain text were sung by Fox, the ones in italics were sung by me, the ones in bold by both of us, and the ones in (parentheses) were spoken, not sung. Confused yet?

If We Had A Thousand Druids

by Rob Henderson

If we had a thousand druids
If we had a thousand druids
We'd build a network of shrines
We'd build a network of shrines
And if we had a thousand druids
If we had a thousand druids
We'd build a Druid College
We could all join a frat
If we had a thousand druids
If we had a thousand druids
We'd all take animal names
Yep, you'd be "Llama", I'd be "Emu"
If we had a thousand druids
We'd praise the gods

If we had a thousand druids
We'd build a wood henge in the yard
If we had a thousand druids
We could all help, it wouldn't be that hard
If we had a thousand druids
Maybe we could put a great big altar in there somewhere
(And maybe we could get some entrails to read on the altar)
(Or maybe some of those pre-wrapped sausages. They have pre-wrapped sausages, but they don't have pre-wrapped entrails, have you ever noticed that?)
(Well, can you blame 'em?)
(Uh, yeah!)

If we had a thousand druids
If we had a thousand druids
Our Warriors could fight a war
But not a real big war, that's cruel
And if we had a thousand druids
If we had a thousand druids
Our Healers could have a hospital
It would be just like on "E/R"
If we had a thousand druids
If we had a thousand druids
We'd all go visit Stonehenge
Ooh, all them great big vertical stones
If we had a thousand druids
We'd praise the gods

If we had a thousand druids
We wouldn't have to rent out a site
If we had a thousand druids
We'd buy our own, and we could stay all night
If we had a thousand druids
We wouldn't have to cram into one hot tub
(But we would cram into one hot tub.)
(Well, of course we would, we'd just cram more!)
(And maybe get some tub toys, like those plastic vegetables...)
(And don't forget the plastic chicken!)
(Mmm!)
(Mmm!)

If we had a thousand druids
If we had a thousand druids
We'd each wear a green cloak
But not a real green cloak, that's cruel
And if we had a thousand druids
If we had a thousand druids
Our Scholars would write great books
Like "The 21 Lessons of Merlin"
If we had a thousand druids
If we had a thousand druids
We'd all get a Web page
Haven't you always wanted a Web page?
If we had a thousand druids
We'd praise the go-o-o-o-o-ods

If we had a thousand druids
If we had a thousand druids
If we had a thousand druids
If we had a thousand druids
If we had a thousand dru-u-u-u-ids
We'd be big!

Web Hosting · Blog · Guestbooks · Message Forums · Mailing Lists
Allwebco Web Templates · Build your own toolbar · Free Talking Character · Audio, Fonts, Clipart
powered by bravenet.com